MUST READ - Damn Funny: Upgrade boyfriend 5.0 to husband 1.0 Pentium :D

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower,
gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed
undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup
2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.

What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate Housewife


Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download
Tears
6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 ..

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run
the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create
SnoringLoudly. wav files.


Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall
another
Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will
crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a
limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and
performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat
Ali
6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support